Friday, February 8, 2013

Consent Culture

I am president of my college BDSM/Kink interest club, and I wrote this paper on consent culture for a meeting tomorrow.

SBU TNG PRESENTS - CONSENT CULTURE!


-What is consent culture?
Consent culture means making sex all about saying “YES!" It’s also about knowing what you are saying yes to. For many people, “no” is a big part of sex. The idea a partner may say no to sex or a specific sex act is a constant worry in many sexual encounters. Consent culture works to change this so that all participants can be safe and happy during their sexual encounters.
-How do I make consent culture part of my sexual health and identity?
Ask questions! Stay informed! This is key. If you don’t feel comfortable talking openly with your partner, you shouldn’t be having sex with them. Sex can be fun and very fulfilling for many people, but communication is key! Talk to your partner about what you would like to do and what safety measures you want to take. Talk about pregnancy and STI prevention and let your partner know about preexisting health problems or concerns. If there is something you or your partner does not want to do, talk about alternatives.
-Isn’t that awkward?
No! It doesn’t have to be. Communication can be sexy and actually lead to better sex. Don’t be a robot, feel free to express yourself openly and honestly before and during sex. If you have a sexual request and your partner is not interested, ask about other options. Be open to hearing each others wishes and opinions in bed, and you may be surprised at the fun you can have.
-What else?
Consent culture is also anti-rape culture. That means being open and honest and non-judgemental. Don’t shame people for their sexual choices, while refusing to feel shame for your own. All consensual sex is good sex. Conversely, nonconsensual sex is never OK. Rape is wrong. If you see something, say something. You should also be mindful of who can consent and when. A drunk person cannot consent to any sexual activity. If you see a person who cannot consent being assaulted, do something. There is no excuse for raping someone.

1 comment:

Lilly Peppermint said...

This post. Yep, agree with everything you've said here, but honestly that shouldn't be suprising. Particularly the last point.
Communication is the key

xxx